In Memoriam...

It was a winter storm here in St. Louis that was nowhere close to an end. What should have been a pleasant surprise of snow was a shocking surprise of loss. It's been a year since we got in the car and went to the ER only to have the suspicion confirmed - our little baby was gone.

What do you feel when you lose someone you've never met? Are you sad? Angry? Ambivalent? Do you try to imagine what they would have looked like or what their personality would be? Or do you nonchalantly declare like our nurse in the ER did that it happens all the time and some fetuses just pass through? I guess it depends on what you believe. We believe that life begins at conception, so to us a little one was taken from us in a moment. We would never get to see the face, enjoy the smiles, be amazed at the beauty of this little life. We would never get to hold her, to comfort her, to laugh with her. So we cried as we thought of the profound loss we were facing. And yet we weren't grieving without hope. We trust God that He is good and His Word is true. We believe that one day we will see her face, and hold her in our arms, and enjoy her forever. Until that day we remember her and still grieve never getting to know her on this earth.

We thought she was a girl so we named her Elena. Until the day when we'll be reunited we remember that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away...blessed be the name of the Lord!

Our litle princess turns 4!!!

On Monday, December 8th Maya turned 4 years old. Her day began with a fun daddy/daughter date that culminated in them going to WalMart and getting a fish! Yes, my little girl chose a FISH over a 3 foot dollhouse. And yes, we now have a pet in our small apartment. Her (mind you, this is a girl fish!) name is SUELLA. Maya got to pick her out, pick out her tank, her gravel, and all the things that go with having a fish. She's been doing really well feeding her every day and saying hello and goodbye and goodnight. We're so proud of her.

The thing with 4 year old birthdays is that they don't just last one day, but a few. So for Maya it was 3 days and 2 batches of cupcakes later and a Princess Party later, she's now finally 4. She was so excited when her teacher at school, Mrs. Byars gave her a birthday crown and pencil and she had a blast having her little friends over and getting to dress up with them as princesses, paint nails and put lipgloss on. They even decorated their own cupcakes with pink icing of course and TONS of sprinkles.

Really, it's 4 going on 14 one would think if they witnessed some of the imaginary conversations she has with herself. For example, the other night, she got her play cell phone and sat on the edge of the couch with her legs crossed and the conversation with her friend Joshua began:
"Hey Joshua. What are you doing? Uh...(eye rolling going on here)...you've gotta be kidding me! Ok, I've gotta go. Bye."

Grandma Mo and I rolled with laughter! On a different note, as Maya gets to make more and more independent decisions, Chris and I get to learn to relinquish more control and trust the Lord as we trust her in her decision making even though she will make choices that are different than ours. Suella the fish, for example, was supposed to be a goldfish, but alas, she's something else...not sure, we think she started off as a goldfish but then mutated into something gray and spotted. This is definitely good for our character and our growth in the Lord.

Sneak Peek

Our dear friend Cara came over and took some pictures of Jack: Cara is a great photographer and Jack a wonderfully cooperating subject. So for those of you who've been wanting to see him, here you go! He's been such a sweet blessing - he is a good baby and very patient with the rest of us.

Pleasant Surprises...

Last night was a long night with Jack who had a hard time settling down for a few hours. So when I got up this morning and struggled to get to the living room, I just wanted a Starbucks Peppermint Mocha and a nice omelette - wishful thinking, I know. Maya was already chatting in the bed with grandma Mo so the quietness of the morning was soon to be distilled by her running footsteps.

Thankfully, the Lord knows that most of the time, what really ministers to my heart are the little things in life....like a cup of coffee, or a Cooking Light magazine, or a hand picked wildflower (Chris used to steal flowers from people's yards for me...). And thankfully, His mercies are new every morning. So this morning, He decided to make my heart leap and rejoice just like that of my little 3 year old - as I looked outside the window all was WHITE!!! We had our first snow! Granted, it melted within a few hours, but what a wonderful way to wake up. I got Maya out of bed and told her, "Come and see....God gave us a surprise!" She was just as excited as I was and it was a fun time together with my little girl. Of course, the next question out of her mouth was, "Can we go outside???" Sure enough, they did a little while later and had a blast. Maya even brought me back some snow and panicked when I said I'll put it in the sink! So we put it in a bowl -the fact that it was melted within a few minutes didn't matter, but putting it in the sink would ruin it! Praise the
Lord for his pleasant surprises.

Oh, and what was little bit doing while the others were outside....snoozing of course...making up for the lost sleep!

Introducing Jack

It was a long day. Started off with excitement of getting to go to the hospital and expecting his arrival sometime during the day. It followed with a scare of his heart rate dropping drastically and the room filling up with doctors, residents, nurses. The chaos of it all brought about panic and instant tears - what if something happens to him? Why is his heart rate not going up? Why is the beeping still slowing down? For over an hour he slowly worked on recovering - his heart rate back to normal but dipping with every contraction, his movements slower and more lethargic, his little body retreating upward and not wanting to come back down. As the hours passed we thought more and more that a c-section will be what it takes. Praise the Lord we have a patient and persistent doctor who trusts the Lord and had faith that all would be well. So Dr. Jewell stayed for hours and monitored progress.

Finally at 9:26p.m. a little head came out, followed by the body. As they placed little Jack on my chest, he looked all blue and stressed out. Soon the crying followed and his color turned to pink! We were so thankful that he made it safely. He weighed 7 lbs. even and was 20.25 inches long - he's gorgeous!

In the past few days he's been such a blessing to us - he is feeding well, sleeping well, adjusting well to his big brother and sister; he loves to be cuddled and held close, he loves the sound of our voices and to look into our faces. Mostly I think he's fallen in love with our bed and doesn't settle well at night till he joins us - not sure if he likes the Beautyrest mattress or the closeness of his parents better!

We have fallen in love with this baby right away and are thankful to the Lord that He would entrust us with Jack's life for a season - may we be found worthy of such a high calling.

Introducing Jack Davies Gensheer

Hello everybody!

We are pleased to introduce you to our new, wonderful baby boy. His name is Jack Davies Gensheer. Don't let his 7lbs. and yet to be recorded height fool you; he is a stud! He has beautiful brown eyes (which he gets from his mommy) and short, stocky legs (which, he gets from his daddy - poor guy). At only 45 minutes old, he has quite the personality. Strong-willed only begins to describe him - he didn't want to come out for most of the day.

Maggie is a real trooper. She's been here since 8 am this morning, with Jack making little and slow progress most of the day. We had a bit of a scare in the afternoon with his heart rate dropping and talk of a possible emergency C-section, but alas, Mr. Determined (that would be Jack) decided to relinquish his warm, nestled stronghold and take on the brave new world.

So thank you for your prayers and your phone calls and letting us share this with you. Be on the lookout for some pictures over here at our family blog sometime in the next couple of days.

Thanks,

The Gensheer's
Chris, Maggie, Maya, Alex and now “baby Jack”

Going to the hospital!

We're on our way in a few minutes to the hospital. Our baby boy has decided that it was time for him to join us. We'll keep you updated. Here's a picture of the family before - we'll post one of us with him!

Diving in!

I've contemplated blogging for a long time and finally decided to dive right in and let the rest of the world in on our lives in St. Louis. Hope you enjoy the updates!

For those of you who know us, you probably know we're expecting our 3rd child (boy) in the next couple of days, so we'll keep you posted on his arrival. We'll be glad to have him finally join us. Maya keeps saying how she wants to change his diaper all by herself - but I'm sure that will be a different story once he's here.

Here's how that conversation went:
Maya, "I'm going to help you with the baby."
Me, "Great, how would you like to help?"
Maya, "I can dress him, feed him, bathe him, and change his diaper - I know how to change a diaper you know?"
Me, "You do?"
Maya, "Yeah, you just open the old diaper, wipe with a wipe and put a new diaper on."

Well, with Maya around, it seems like having a newborn will be a breeze at the Gensheer household. Somehow, I think she might have a hard time with the late night feedings!!

Chris and Maya have been negotiating over the name of our new baby boy, each one pulling for their favorite. Since Maya now wants a fish, instead of a doll house, for her upcoming birthday, Chris suggested she name her fish her favorite name instead of the baby. The response was classic for Maya: "No daddy, my fish will be a girl, and that's a boy name!"

We laugh a ton with our kids, and just with one another. As we step into yet another transition in our life, we're excited to see what new things God will teach us and how we'll grow to be more like Him.