In Memoriam...

It was a winter storm here in St. Louis that was nowhere close to an end. What should have been a pleasant surprise of snow was a shocking surprise of loss. It's been a year since we got in the car and went to the ER only to have the suspicion confirmed - our little baby was gone.

What do you feel when you lose someone you've never met? Are you sad? Angry? Ambivalent? Do you try to imagine what they would have looked like or what their personality would be? Or do you nonchalantly declare like our nurse in the ER did that it happens all the time and some fetuses just pass through? I guess it depends on what you believe. We believe that life begins at conception, so to us a little one was taken from us in a moment. We would never get to see the face, enjoy the smiles, be amazed at the beauty of this little life. We would never get to hold her, to comfort her, to laugh with her. So we cried as we thought of the profound loss we were facing. And yet we weren't grieving without hope. We trust God that He is good and His Word is true. We believe that one day we will see her face, and hold her in our arms, and enjoy her forever. Until that day we remember her and still grieve never getting to know her on this earth.

We thought she was a girl so we named her Elena. Until the day when we'll be reunited we remember that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away...blessed be the name of the Lord!